Schlado 2023

The red for people who've decided they don't like red.

Ben: Eight varieties, different skin treatments, assembled the way two ex-chefs build a plate. Eleven percent alcohol, and it goes in the fridge. The oldest vines in the blend went into the ground in 1972, the youngest only a few years ago. The name is short for “Scheisslanger Donnerstag” — their words for an extremely long Thursday, which is exactly the evening this bottle is built for.

In your glass: Cold, light and quick — a red built like a white: barely any drying grip, plenty of snap, eleven percent. The eight varieties aren't a gimmick: some grapes are foot-crushed and soaked overnight, others destemmed and macerated for five days, then everything gets folded together like the parts of a dish, which is exactly how two ex-chefs think. Pick it chilled for spicy food or a warm evening; if you want a red that feels like red — weight, grip, warmth — this is the opposite.

Serve it: 45 minutes in the fridge — treat it like a white.

You’ll probably love it if: Red usually feels like too much — this is the red for people who've decided they don't like red.

Skip it if: Want a red with real weight → the red Bilaire (€10.50). Want pink and even easier → Newstalgia (€17.50).